not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
accomplished twins. life is a go
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
