Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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