I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
