Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
