so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
