I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
