i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
