it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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