Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
