so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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