i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
