No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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