We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Still dying that you shit outside
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
