I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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