Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
