Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
