my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
