I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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