my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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