oh god the rape fog is back!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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