They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
