dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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