thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize