Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
