think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
