Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
