You really coming over, don't trick.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
