What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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