What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
