you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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