How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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