He kissed a someone with a penis
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
