I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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