Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
