honey bunches of taint.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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