my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
