Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
