took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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