Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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