we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Someone came in the potted fern
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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