To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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