Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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