thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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