If i come over, it means nothing
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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