Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
