Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
