Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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