i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
