i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
