This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
