I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
