need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
