Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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