Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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