Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
