Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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