i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
