I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
