It's like God shit irony all over that family
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
