Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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